Christ.
It would appear that I procrastinated for too long deciding which thing on my list I should do first and the Gods decided for me. Although, why they would choose something that could get me arrested, I don't know. Maybe that's the real sign here.
Allow me to explain...
Yesterday was my friend Slev's son's 2nd birthday (got that?) and he was having a party (ahhh...bless). So, being the well brought up lass that I am, I went round a little early to help get things ready. This involved a trip to a well known out-of-town shopping outlet (not Lakeside, the other one) to purchase a digital camera for the party.
I kept the Son of Slev amused while she decided which one she wanted and when one was purchased, we headed to a well known high-street chemist (not Superdrug, the other one) to pick up some bits.
While Slev was picking up sensible things like nappies, I, with the Son of Slev still under my watchful eye, decided to peruse the clothing section and found the cutest little knitted hoodie that he really wanted (he didn't actually say he wanted it because he can't speak yet, but if he could, he'd have been like: 'Hell yeah Aunty Tanya, that's ASBO chic!')
Hooking the hoodie onto the handle of the bugy, I took a moment to drool over the make up before rejoining Slev. We paid for the nappies and headed out, not before the security guard stopped us to coo over the Son of Slev, who is cuteness personified...FACT!
Heading to the car, we loaded up the boot and just as Slev was about to fold up the bugy she discovered the hoodie still hanging on the handle.
OMG! I shoplifted and used a 2 year old child as an accomplice!
I *swear* on my handbags that I did not remember that the hoodie was there! I was distracted by the damn lip gloss and completely forgot about it! Even the security guard didn't notice. There was no tag on it, no alarms went off. WTF?!
I was inconsolable and promptly burst into tears, apologising profusely for exposing the Son of Slev to the world of crime at such a young age.
Luckily, she thought it was hilarious but we were halfway home before the panic subsided and I insisted that we go back immediately and pay for it, a suggestion that was met with yet more laughter and derision from Slev.
So there you have it...the first thing on my list has been done and guess what? It was illegal! Not only that, Slev's son now has to walk around wearing stolen goods.
It's official: I'm going to burn in hell.
Signed,
Doris the Dip x
-------------
It would appear that I procrastinated for too long deciding which thing on my list I should do first and the Gods decided for me. Although, why they would choose something that could get me arrested, I don't know. Maybe that's the real sign here.
Allow me to explain...
Yesterday was my friend Slev's son's 2nd birthday (got that?) and he was having a party (ahhh...bless). So, being the well brought up lass that I am, I went round a little early to help get things ready. This involved a trip to a well known out-of-town shopping outlet (not Lakeside, the other one) to purchase a digital camera for the party.
I kept the Son of Slev amused while she decided which one she wanted and when one was purchased, we headed to a well known high-street chemist (not Superdrug, the other one) to pick up some bits.
While Slev was picking up sensible things like nappies, I, with the Son of Slev still under my watchful eye, decided to peruse the clothing section and found the cutest little knitted hoodie that he really wanted (he didn't actually say he wanted it because he can't speak yet, but if he could, he'd have been like: 'Hell yeah Aunty Tanya, that's ASBO chic!')
Hooking the hoodie onto the handle of the bugy, I took a moment to drool over the make up before rejoining Slev. We paid for the nappies and headed out, not before the security guard stopped us to coo over the Son of Slev, who is cuteness personified...FACT!
Heading to the car, we loaded up the boot and just as Slev was about to fold up the bugy she discovered the hoodie still hanging on the handle.
OMG! I shoplifted and used a 2 year old child as an accomplice!
I *swear* on my handbags that I did not remember that the hoodie was there! I was distracted by the damn lip gloss and completely forgot about it! Even the security guard didn't notice. There was no tag on it, no alarms went off. WTF?!
I was inconsolable and promptly burst into tears, apologising profusely for exposing the Son of Slev to the world of crime at such a young age.
Luckily, she thought it was hilarious but we were halfway home before the panic subsided and I insisted that we go back immediately and pay for it, a suggestion that was met with yet more laughter and derision from Slev.
So there you have it...the first thing on my list has been done and guess what? It was illegal! Not only that, Slev's son now has to walk around wearing stolen goods.
It's official: I'm going to burn in hell.
Signed,
Doris the Dip x
-------------
No comments:
Post a Comment