29. Go out without make up on

This one is probably the most pointless and shallow thing on the list, but anyone that knows me will tell you that I *never* go anywhere without make up on. I will put my face on to mow the lawn or even just to pop out to the corner shop to buy a pint of milk.

Pointless and shallow I know, but leaving the house without make up on is nonetheless a *huge* thing for me and I haven't done it since I was 14 and discovered Rimmel.

Putting on make up is like having a shower or brushing my hair, it's part of my routine and I don't even notice it anymore. Not doing it would feel weird, like when you leave the house without putting your watch on.

It's just part of me and what makes me fabulous.

But I did it on Saturday, even though I had a massive spot on my chin (please note the pictorial evidence, for those of you that know me and can't believe that I would do something like this. Although the spot looks disconcertingly like a nipple at first glance...)

I was terrified and I must admit, I felt naked and v.self conscious at first, like everyone was looking at me.

Of course they weren't. They were too busy elbowing me out of the way to get the last seat on the bus or a loaf of bread in M&S (there are *loads*! Why do you want the one I'm reaching for?)

So after an hour or so, I completely forgot and even met a friend for lunch in case I was accused of cheating. However, I neglected to warn her so she was aghast when I walked into the cafe.

'What's wrong? Are you ill?'
'No. I'm fine.'
'Are you hungover?'
'No!'
'You're not wearing any make up.'
'I know.'
'But I can see your actual skin'
'I know. So? What are you doing?'
'Looking to see if you're wearing shoes.'
'Why wouldn't I be wearing shoes?'
'Cos you're obviously depressed.'
'Stop whispering. I'm fine! It's for my list.'
'What list?'
'The list!'
'You're still doing that?'
'Of course!'
'But you'll never do it all before you turn 30 so what's the point?'
'Just cos I won't do it doesn't mean I shouldn't at least try.'
'But you're gonna fail. Why start something you know you're going to fail?'
'Cos I always do the right thing, the safe thing and look where it's got me? Nowhere. Maybe it won't hurt to fail at something. Besides, there's loads on that list that I actually wanna do.'
'So you're gonna get a tattoo just cos you wrote it on a bit of paper when you were hungover and panicking about turning 30?'
'Yes.'
'You're a fucking idiot.'

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Today just gets better...

My stars in the Metro:

Capricorn
Some Capricorns are definitely yearning in secret for a love they cannot, or shouldn't, have. If you're one of them, the yearning goes big today. If not, thank your lucky stars your only celebrity crush is on a celebrity.

Then I read this in the Holy Moly newsletter:

Sound Of The (30,000 ft) Overground
Which member of pop quintet Girls Aloud recently got tiddly and fiddly with Wentworth Miller - he of the tattooed torso from hit US TV drama 'Prison Break' - during a recent Virgin (the irony) Atlantic flight to LA?

It had been reported in the tabloids that the Irish pop strumpet was on a mercy dash to patch up her on-off relationship with a male star from the biggest TV show in the US.

Apparently our chatty songstress was sitting at the Upper Class bar supping champers when her Lucky Charms were noted by Miller.

After some inevitable flirting and comparison of bank accounts and tattoos, the couple decided to sky-test those really posh beds shown on the adverts (though the adverts only show one person in the bed - and definitely no rimming).

To the annoyance of their fellow passengers, the lady in question is a bit of a 'screamer', and her Catholic background was made fairly obvious by her cries of, "Oh Jesus, oh Mary Mother of God, there, that's the spot" etc. This led to complaints and a red-faced flight attendant was dispatched to ask the lady in question if she could be more... not so loud.

Frolics done, the singer bid her mile-high partner adieu, re-applied her make up, did her hair and hauled her swollen mons off the plane, before racing into the arms of her desperate boyfriend who was waiting at the gate.

*squeal*

Maybe he isn't so gay after all Perez Hilton, you fat fuck.

If that story is true, which I choose to assume it is, then it is proof undeniable that there is a God...WENTWORTH MILLER IS STRAIGHT! And that Nadine Coyle has exquisite taste in men.

Today is like, the best day evah!

Or maybe my stars relate to the boy in the office I fancy, but more of that, and how it effects numer 13 on Monday...

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Where to begin?

First thing's first: the list...dum, dum, dum!

Ah...the list. I predict that, in about 3 weeks, I will hate this list with every fibre of my being, delete this blog and pretend that this whole thing never happened.

Until then however, I'm gonna give it a go even if it's patently obvious that I'm not going to get all of this done in a month (number 24 for example defo can't happen until next year). But God loves a trier, right? So don't be surprised if I rebrand this blog in the new year as '31 things to do before I'm 31'...if I haven't got bored of it by then, natch.

Before I get going though, I'd just like to point out that, with the exception of numbers 1-3 and the obligatory number 30, which I just tacked on to the end in an attack of Catholic Guilt, everything else on this list is utterly pointless and shallow. I'm really rather proud of that. Who needs to pay off their debts and be a better person when they can watch Star Wars and shoplift? Word...

I am however, beginning to regret number 11 (Get a tattoo). Does a henna one count? WTF was I thinking? *groans* I'll leave that one until I'm bored and delete everything...

Secondly, which one should I do first? Number 2 (Give up smoking) is an obvious choice as it would mean that I would just get it over and done with, but I'm seeing my Mum on Sunday so that may not be wise. I fear much nicotine will be requried before then. Maybe I should start on Monday morning? That makes more sense and is definitely in keeping with my: 'why do today what you can put off until tomorrow' mantra.

Don't have much time, so need to do something this weekend, but what?

*scratches head*

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The List

1. Lose weight
2. Give up smoking
3. Get a better job
4. Watch Star Wars
5. Fly a kite
6. Kiss a girl
7. Magic mushrooms
8. Get laid
9. Drink Absinth
10. Crowd surf
11. Get a tattoo
12. Have a one night stand
13. Ask a boy out
14. Keep a diary for more than a couple of weeks
15. Go fishing
16. Get a Brazilian (wax)
17. Win a competition
18. Learn how to ride a bike
19. Give a flower to a stranger
20. Stay up for 24 hours
21. Have cyber sex
22. Learn how to play the drums
23. Get in a fight (verbal or otherwise)
24. Send a Valentine's card
25. Walk a dog
26. Shoplift something
27. Go to a football match
28. Learn a language
29. Go out without make up on
30. Do something for charity